Man Up or Show Up?
Photo by Elisha May
Why One Phrase Wounds and the Other Heals
Originally written November 2022 | Refined for publication July 2025
Let’s talk about one of the most casually harmful phrases we throw around in moments of discomfort or avoidance:
“Man up.”
Some say it to others. Many say it to themselves.
I used to say it to me, often. Almost never to anyone else.
And I’ll be honest: at the time, I thought I was helping. That maybe, if I could just toughen up, I’d finally push past whatever fear, doubt, or sadness I was drowning in. I thought I was doing the brave thing.
But here’s what I’ve come to realise and it’s shifted everything:
“Man up” is a command rooted in suppression.
“Show up” is an invitation rooted in power.
Why “Man Up” Doesn’t Work
It implies:
You shouldn’t feel what you’re feeling.
Emotion = weakness.
There’s only one way to be strong: stoic, hard, disconnected.
And let’s be honest: that model is outdated.
It’s harmed men for generations. It’s taught women to push down their sensitivity. It’s kept humans - all of us - trapped in cycles of self-abandonment.
The truth is, “man up” doesn’t empower. It shames.
It usually means: “Don’t bother me with your pain, suppress it.”
And when pain gets buried instead of healed? It mutates. Into rage. Illness. Addiction. Numbness. Or total emotional shutdown.
So What’s the Alternative? Show Up.
To show up means:
You stay with yourself, even when it’s hard.
You don’t bypass the fear, you face it, gently.
You advocate for your needs, even when your voice shakes.
You take action, not from shame, but from self-respect.
It’s not about pushing through trauma, pretending everything’s fine, or “snapping out of it.”
It’s about becoming the kind of human who meets fear, discomfort, or challenge with compassion and courage, not avoidance.
I Get It, You’re Sensitive. So Am I.
I’m a deeply sensitive soul. A creative empath. I need more time than most to process big emotions, decisions, change.
But I also know this:
Action is what grows us.
Even if it’s slow. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s scary as hell.
I used to say “man up” when I was trying to force myself forward.
Now? I say:
“Show up, Elisha. For yourself. With your full heart. That’s enough.”
This Is For You If You’ve Ever Said “Man Up” To Yourself
This post is for the man who’s terrified to let anyone see him cry.
For the woman who’s been called “too sensitive” and started to believe it.
For the soul who thinks strength = silence.
You don’t need to man up.
You need to show up.
To your life. Your pain. Your power. Your truth.
The world doesn’t need more hardened hearts.
It needs braver ones. Softer ones. Ones that feel and act anyway.
Ready to Show Up for Yourself?
Whether you’re navigating heartbreak, purpose, burnout or self-doubt, you don’t need to do it alone.
I help soul-led men and women reclaim their power without suppressing their sensitivity.
👉 Book a 1:1 session here 60-90 mins
Stay Wild. Stay True. Stay You.
