Coming Out of the Spiritual Closet: The Witch Was Always In Me
Photo by Elisha May
The long-overdue liberation of my intuitive, magical, multidimensional self…
So… here we are.
Yes, I own tarot and oracle decks (not all of them made the photo), a collection of crystals (some passed down from my late brother), and a deep, unwavering connection to something greater. I commune with my soul. I listen to energy. I channel guidance. I believe in a force, call it Divine, God, Source, Spirit, Universe, Higher Power… I don’t mind what you name it. I just know it’s real.
And guess what?
I’m still alive. No burning stake. No public stoning. Liberation, baby.
Owning who I am feels damn good.
The Gifts I Hid And Why I’m Not Hiding Anymore
I’ve always been intuitive, receiving messages through visuals, sensations, thoughts. I access many of the Clairs. I’ve had those “expanded beyond the body” experiences, stone cold sober, where I felt interconnected to everything. Past, present, future, love, peace, joy… like the real me had returned and my human body didn’t exist.
These weren’t hallucinations. They were remembrances.
I live for those moments, where time melts, and truth takes over. They remind me that this world is only part of the picture. That we’re not broken. We’re remembering. That the gold we seek is within us, always.
Witchy Origins (Or: I Read One Book and Was Never the Same Again)
My “witchy” path began around 14. I found a book on witchcraft in my parents’ bookshelf (they’re not as spiritual as me, but they’ve always been very open-minded and had a few experiences themselves, out-of-body etc.,). I devoured it. I was obsessed. But it also scared me the idea that I might actually have power. And I did. I just didn’t know how to hold it yet. I could also feel, what I now know to be my shadow side wanting to “play”, which scared me.
At 11, I already knew I could heal people. I just didn’t know what to do with that knowing.
Glastonbury wasn’t quite my scene. I wanted both worlds: spiritual power and grounded realness. At the time, it felt like I had to choose: blend in or go full woo. I didn’t want either. I wanted to walk my own path. But how?!
When Trauma Made Me Forget
Of course, I got pulled into “normal life.” I tried to silence my gifts. Then came a series of three back-to-back traumas that shattered me. Grief. PTSD. Adrenal burnout. Anxiety. Depression. I was lost. The Divine and I even had a falling out after my brother died.
I remember clearly hearing the words clairaudiently: “Leave him be.” I trusted them. The next day, he was gone. WTF!?
I was livid. But somewhere deeper, I knew. It was part of something I couldn’t yet see, but could feel. Deja Vu feelings too.
Over the next ten years, through therapy, healing, shadow work, and MANY dark nights of the soul, I slowly gathered the fragments of myself. Piece by piece. Kintsugi style. My Soul as the golden glue.
The Magic Never Left, I Just Stopped Trusting It
I used to downplay my gifts, hiding them in my beauty therapy work, letting them trickle out through massage or facials. Clients would leave glowing, having received more than just a treatment, but I still didn’t claim it. I thought it had to look a certain way.
But over time, I witnessed what happened when I let the full current move through me.
✧ A client’s solar plexus unlocking mid-walk.
✧ An ex-boyfriend’s injury mysteriously vanishing, after I accidentally took on all the pain myself (I learned the hard way: I’m a channel, not a sponge).
✧ Energy orbs showing up in the room mid-session.
These weren’t accidents. They were reminders. I was born for this.
No More Diluting Myself
A friend once asked, “Were you always like this?”
And I said, “Yes… but diluted.”
I was waiting for the world to be safe. For the moment it wouldn’t reject me. For a sign it was okay to come out. And I’m done waiting. People always wanted to dim my light, keep me limited.
Now I show up. Bonkers. Weird. Magical. Raw. Messy. Real. Intuitive as hell. Because we owe that to ourselves. The world needs us undiluted and we need ourselves unfiltered.
What About You?
What parts of you are still in the closet?
What truth are you holding back, hoping the world won’t reject it?
What part of you is whispering:
“Let me out. Let me lead. Let me express. Let me create.”
You don’t have to come out all at once. But I invite you to take one step. Speak one truth. Let one part of your power be seen.
Because it will liberate you.
And it just might liberate someone else, too.
Stay true. Stay wild. Stay YOU.
And let that fire in you burn and ignite. 🔥✨
Love,
Elisha
