“What If You’re Not Behind… You’re Just Off Script (And That’s Your Magic)”
By now, at 39, I thought I’d have the checklist complete:
Husband
Children
A house with my name on the deed
A thriving business
Instead? I have none of the above in the way society told me I would. And weirdly, I’m okay with that. Actually, I’m more than okay. I’m alive, awake, and becoming who I actually came here to be.
Maybe what I’ve been grieving isn’t the lack of milestones. Maybe I’ve been grieving the fantasy they sold me.
The fantasy that told me I’d only be a "real" woman if I became a mother. The idea that love would make me whole. The illusion that success meant security, and security meant happiness.
Here’s what’s real: I’m a High Sensory Person (HSP) with High Sensation Seeking traits. I crave freedom. I need deep solitude. I long for meaning more than milestones.
And if I’d followed the path handed to me, I would have suffocated. I did for years…
So no, I’m not behind. I’m off-script. And that might be the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
The truth is: I’ve always known I wasn’t here for the typical route. Even as a child, I sat in the playground thinking: “WTF is this shit show, and why am I here - again?”
That inner knowing has never left me. And several years ago, I finally stopped fighting it. I gave myself permission to live on my own terms. To not force motherhood, marriage, or a business model that drains my soul.
Would I love partnership? Yes. But I won’t settle just to tick a box. Would I be open to children? Only with sacred union, if my soul screamed yes and it never has - yet and might never.
What I have created is something most people don’t even allow themselves to imagine:
A life built on intuition
Spiritual awakenings that crack me open and rebuild me
A body of work that helps others come back to themselves
This didn’t happen overnight. It came through grief, trauma, initiations, healing and soul-alignment work with mentors like Willow McIntosh, Liz Roberta, Noor Hibbert, Joe Dispenza and MANY more. It came through breaking down in 2020 and finding my true identity as someone who is High Sensory and an Empath.
And it came through trusting that I wasn’t broken, I was just misunderstood, by me because the world misunderstood me.
So if you’re like me: off-script, wide-awake, and wondering what the hell comes next? Know this: You’re not failing. You’re remembering. You’re not behind. You’re being rerouted.
You are exactly where your soul needs you to be.
Elisha 🔥
